The World Mania..Article published in Sangat, SANA newsletter

We Sindhis never settle for less. I mean, we always believe in universality of things. Local or regional things do not have any appeal for us. They have to be global, grandiose and on large scale. Look at my friend Dhanni Bux and his brothers. They were all normal guys till one day, on a sunny California afternoon; Dhanni Bux came up with this idea of forming an organization called “World Sindhis with Hiccups Organization.” Dumbfounded, I tried to explain him that this was an absurd idea and if he was bent upon forming such an organization, at least he should try to form it at the local level first. I insisted that he rethink and go slowly. But, he would have none of it. So, a week after our argument and with great fanfare, he launched his organization with announcements published in magazines, newspapers, radio, and in cyberspace. He mailed the organization’s objectives and all its laws, including by-laws, side-laws, straight-laws and crooked-laws, to Sindhis all over the world. He appealed them to join hands against the oppression of hiccups and fight for the right to be free from hiccups.

Surprisingly, a lot of people called with different kinds of hiccups and wanted to join the organization. Many more wanted to be office bearers. They sent their membership dues and invited Dhanni Bux to go on speaking tours. Instantly he became popular and people sought his company. One can see his photographs in the community newspaper every once in while. He enjoyed his status but his neck became stiff, his voice dictatorial and his behavior authoritarian.

In the beginning, his brothers and friends volunteered to help him in building the organization. But soon they realized that while he was in the limelight, they were living in the shadows. They were doing the work and he was reaping the fruits. They demanded to share the chair and to take turns in heading some of his organizations, to which Dhanni Bux said no way, Jose. Within the family, they tried hard to dislodge him but he would not budge. It was learned that he was even sleeping with the chair strapped around him. The whole situation was getting nasty. They resented his defiance for not sharing the popularity but an open revolt was against the tradition. So, after some deliberation, his brothers decided to form their own organizations. Everyone rushed to outdo the others. Soon, dozens of organizations mushroomed in the Sindhi community. We had “World Sindhis Do Nothing Organization,” “World Sindhis Big Boasting Organization,” “World Sindhis Talk & Talk Organization,” “World Sindhis for Constant Katchari Organization,” “World Sindhis Against Driving without Drinking Organization,” “World Sindhis for Endangering Endangered Sindhis Organization.” I mean you name it and we had it. We even had one organization called “World Sindhis to Find Other World Sindhis Organizations.”

Then we had different types of World Sindhis Flyover Organiza- tions. These organizations worked as bridges between various world Sindhi organizations. All those organizations have committees and all committees have sub-committees and sub-committees have sub-sub-committees and sub-sub-committees have sub-sub-sub-committees and those, in turn, have underground, aboveground and background committees. There were hundreds of committees to make sure that no stone was left unturned in covering every aspect of community life. It was a monumental job. Only Sindhis are capable of working so hard in creating a labyrinth of committees on paper.

On a personal front, Dhanni Bux was not doing well. He spent all his time on matters relating to the organizations and he lost his job. His wife had to work 10 hours a day to feed the kids. He could not pay the rent so he had to leave his two-bedroom apartment and move to a one-bedroom apartment. Soon he was not able to pay the rent at the new place. He then had to move to a half bedroom apartment, but rent was still a problem for him. From there he went to a quarter bedroom apartment, until, after two months, the marshal threw him out for being delinquent in his rent. He went to live with one of his brothers, who was going through the same cycle of changing residences. I tried to talk some
sense into him. I told him it is easy to form an organization, but much more difficult to sustain it. If you cannot manage your family, how can you manage half a dozen organizations? Get out of this madness. First take care of your family then combine all those organizations into one and together, with the help of others, make it work. Set realistic goals and realistically try to achieve those goals. Confine yourself to a local area and give careful thought before bragging to reach out the world. Creating hype is not only waste of time but is also dangerous for the community. But my arguments fell on deaf ears.

First the community was excited. Everyone wanted to be on the committees. They were swamped with offers of joining everyone’s committee. There were so many committees and so many offers that, to please a relative or a friend, people became members of 20 or 30 committees at the same time. Slowly the act of praising one’s organization and denouncing the others started. Every organization claimed it was original and the others fake. They claimed to be true patriots and called the others true traitors. A fierce competition ensued. Relatives and friends pushed and pulled till the whole community went berserk.

Eventually we came to a point where people started running from the organizations. Instead of ‘No Solicitation’, people hung ‘No Organizations’ notices on their front doors. Invitation cards for social events carried in bold letters ‘No Agents of any Organization Allowed.’ There was a great commotion and turmoil in the community. People started waking up, perspiring, in the middle of the night, having a nightmare of being asked to enroll in a World Sindhi Organization. Lots of Sindhis found that they were having some kind of medical disorder. The situation was very grave until the doctors discovered a new disease. The discovery was published in the New England Journal of Medicine and was called ‘World Sindhi Syndrome.’

Then the climax came. One day when Bux brothers were, as usual, engaged in organizational meetings their wives ran out of patience. They bought some mean and nasty looking batons from an organization called “World Sindhi Mula Bux Organization” and waited for the night. The rest you can imagine…

For next six weeks Bux brothers had their joints fixed at the World Sindhi Chiropractic Organization. The community left them to stew in their own juices. Finally a lull settled on the Sindhi community and people took a breath of relief.

After six months or so, we found ourselves in a party sitting with Dhanni Bux. We were very pleased to see him. He looked mellow but otherwise fine. He’d forgotten about the world Sindhi organizations but still being a Sindhi could not help but feed grandiose ideas. I asked him if he is now over with that world mania. He said in a husky voice: “World organizations are too small for me. So, now, I am thinking of forming a new entity called “Union of Sindhis from Mars.” While some of us nearly fainted, the rest of us looked up at the sky and sighed.

(Mr. Ashraf Memon lives in Torrance, CA, with his wife and two children)


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